If you feel so low that you don't know how to get yourself out.If you feel like you can't take it. And you feel yourself slipping away, like there is no one there to help you find yourself. I ask of you one thing. Hold on.
This is potentially the hardest thing youll ever have to do. But you can do it. As I write this, I am feeling ok. However 5 hours ago, I ran out of my friends flat, and became self-destructive. I smashed things, I punched things. I screamed. I cried. I couldn't cope. And I have felt this way for months. This month has been the hardest of my life and I'm nowhere near feeling better. But I've learnt one thing tonight. And that is that, I'm not alone. And neither are you. And thats something that everyone should hold onto. You might not see it, but there is always someone who is willing to listen. You just have to let them
If i may I would like to describe my current situation. I was diagnosed with serious depression in January. For years however I have battled with myself. This past month, I have never felt so alone, and so lost in my entire life. I felt like I was burden, like i was a waste of space. This feeling made me drive my friends away. It's a vicious circle. I didnt want to hurt my friends, so i pushed them away, which only left me more alone, which in turn, only made me worse. Something I particularly battle with is my self-perception. I can only see myself as a waste, and a purposeless being, fit for nothing. I don't see why people would like me, and I don't feel I deserve to be loved. In short, honestly, I hate myself. I truely do. I've cut myself, and I've nearly broken my hand just to see if i can feel.
However, I now know that I am not alone. I had a talk with a great friend of mine, and she helped me to understand that I am only alone for as long as I choose to be. For it is impossible to be helped if you refuse the offered help. She saved my life tonight. That's the truth.
Now i'll stop talking directly about myself. I know how it feels to be so low that there feels like no way out. I know how it feels to lie in bed, crying and begging aloud for it to stop. I know what it feels like to be desperate, and willing to do anything to feel better. I need you to remember that when you feel like this, there is a path out. And there are so many people already in your life who will drag you out of your hole, if will but let them try. I know how hard it is. It's the worst thing to do in the world. But as soon as you manage to let someone try, you can start to heal. No-one can do it on their own. No-one is that strong. However when you are surrounded by darkness, and all feels lost, all you need do is remember to turn on the light, and you'll see how many people are around you to help.
I'm so sorry for you if you're in this situation. If i can give but one thing to cling onto, a light at the end of the tunnel, it's that it does get better. I promise you that. It gets better. It might not seem like it, but it does. Just remember. Help will come. Whether it be friend, family or stranger. People will listen.
This was written in response to Myles Dyer's video "You are not alone" in which he talks through his own experiences and frankly much better than i do, gives advice and encouragement. Myles you are truely inspirational and selfless man, and your videos have helped me more than you can know. Thank you.
Ben
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